Dear beautiful people,
I AM SO SORRY!
I've been gone such a long time I don’t know why I gave up blogging. No matter if I was eating or not I just didn’t seem to have the energy but it’s so helpful and it wastes time.
But I will continue it now. I guess I also felt like I was letting you guys down with my inconsistency. I was all over the place. And I was never happy no matter what the situation. But I’m going to be a determined person to get what I want starting now with no candy for All Hallows Eve.
I’m not completely to blame though my computer hasn’t been cooperating at all. It continued to shut off all the time (when I was in the middle of homework was the worst) and then it crashed and my dad wouldn’t fix it for the longest time.
I am so sorry guys! I ask for a retry this weekend.
I have five days, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. I believe that will get me enough time to get back into the swing of things. I will save any and all low cal food items I can for Tuesday with drill team. But since I have decided I won’t go to Haley’s party unless Sarah isn’t or at least I know what her costume will be. Then I should have no temptation right? Well, wrong, but a girl can hope. I also won’t be going on the Fall Retreat with Jessica which I am okay with(it’s overnight). I will remember my list for goals and rewards, read, watch movies, and not eat candy this Halloween. I’m for sure going to grown my hair out, I want to be beautiful, I want to want to be in pictures because I can do what all the girls in my inspiration do. I think I understand the low food issue instead of no food. That’s what’s been holding me back. I wanted it bad so I didn't eat for a couple of days but my body didn't adjust that quickly so I, of course, binge. Then I purged and in the haze I binge again and refuse to repeat again so I fell victum to the calories. So I’m back at square one. Thankfully I not only can't loose weight I can't gain either so although it's flunctuated becuase of the inconsistene diet I'm still at where I started I also have a nice exercise I’m going to do this weekend. ALOT.
My older sister has convinced me it’s not just about not eating. It’s about putting the right foods into your body along with the right amount of physical exercise. With those two things in mind along with what I get once I get down to my goal weights I should be good.
Now that I have the foods I need and PE is over it will be much easier. My dad bought a huge thing of pickles 5 calories each, a large box of green tea, lettece, and lots and lots of water is going to get me through this weekend. Wish me luck!
Wow that was long I guess I'll need to do this more often to have shorter entrys. *winks*
